I went back to school just so I could extend my ranting.
You're welcome.
Apathy
It's not like I entered law school a super empathetic human.
I've never had a ton of patience and compassion for stupidity, and I tend to think that a lot of things are stupid.
But law school took my tiny Grinch heart, shrunk it even more, and then froze it.
I'm mixing animated movie metaphors here, but still. I had a slip and fall case where the woman actually died and I spent 100% of my time thinking about what a giant, dead con artist she was.
The actual devil.
Whoever decided that 6 minutes is a better increment than 10 minutes is a moron.
Math is hard and I never asked for this.
Also, realizing that you just spent 3 hours on something but only half of that is billable is the worst feeling in the entire world.
Honorable mention: Bar exam
I know I mentioned doing a whole post dedicated to the Test-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, but I just don't think I have it in me. It's stupid and maybe if we all stop talking about it it will go away.
Contract vs. employment
I quit my stable, "cushy" job for a contract position.
Some would say I'm an idiot. They could be right.
I have to put aside money for taxes, I no longer have benefits, and my job ends at a predetermined time.
Also, I kind of feel like I'm becoming a jack of all trades, master of none.
I'm pretending to know about oil and gas right now, and the client doesn't even realize that an IMPOSTER ADULT is giving them legal advice.
(Disclaimer: I'm competent, I swear. But I have hardcore Imposter Syndrome, so there.)
Disposable income
Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I've purchased way too many unnecessary things.
But also...super necessary. Get out of my business.
Ennui + anxiety
Work is boring.
But I also feel intense concern that I'm not working smart enough or hard enough or fast enough.
It is so utterly tedious that I have become thoroughly invested in the lives of these people.
A contentious divorce was the highlight of my month.
Help.
Free time
Most first year associates basically sleep in the office and have soul-crushing hours.
I'm in a very unique situation that I never want to end but is guaranteed to end.
For the first time in absolute ages, I have free time and I have no idea what to do with it.
I have shows to watch, books to read, crafts to craft.
The world is my oyster, but I spend a lot of time napping.
Gym membership
Ugh, I'm doing the damn thing.
But I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.
Honorary advisor
I may have finished, but that doesn't mean I can wash my hands of it.
I am playing school/bar prep/job search advisor to my boyfriend, who has RUDELY decided to still be in law school despite my repeated requests for him to graduate and support me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed.
WE'RE DOOMED.
Insurance
I hate the adult I've become -
worried about things like insurance and IRAs.
I have neither, so I'll continue to worry, thank you very much.
Job hunt
Uhhhhh right. I guess I should be doing that again, seeing as this Nirvana of a job is going to end at some point.
However, all of the job postings are asking for 2-5 years of experience. That age old problem.
So my solution: stop looking and just sit it out for a year. Because then I'll have 2 years out of law school. That's how it works, right?
Kvetching
(It's a stretch. I know.)
In another life, I was a Jewish grandmother.
I legitimately don't know why you're here, if not for the snark.
"I'll get to that immediately" ... as soon as I finish my morning scroll through Drudge and Daily Mail.
"Traffic was terrible this morning" ... as you stroll in, Starbucks in hand.
"I've been swamped lately" ... if by "swamped" you mean binge watching Parks and Rec for the 8th time with some freshly Uber Eats-ed orange chicken, then sure.
But really, "we need to get together for drinks!"
