It's Hard to Be Legit & Still Pay the Rent

My alma mater began its donation drive today. 

I am currently cowering in fear in a cave on an uninhabited island, 

far from any technology by which they could reach me.

In all honesty, I might give. 

Not that I have much moolah to donate. 

If they would just hold off for a few years, 

I will have stacks on stacks all for UD, provided they name a building after me,

or whatever. 

Right now, two years out and three jobs later --

I'm poor. 

If anything, I need to have a donation drive for myself:

« Rent »

Cost of living in Houston is killing me, ironically. 

I thought moving away from D-Bag Dallas could only help a sista out, 

but H-Town is even more expensive

and you get the bonus of an awful crime rate. Fab!

FAFSA needs to send a young, hot millionaire my way STAT. 

(Isn't that where they get their money supply?)

« Law School »

Oh, yeah, that. 

I may not be paying tuition, 

but those books are no joke. 

No one wants to read that badly. 

« Coffee/Cocaine »

See above, law school. 

« Shoes »

Lady Justice (that's what I'm calling myself now) needs to look good. 

How am I supposed to prove myself as an intelligent law student

without a cute wardrobe?

« Puppies »

Obviously.