8 Reasons Lucille Bluth Is My Spirit Animal

T. Mull just called me out for not blogging on Sunday.
I deserve that.
I had it all planned, 
but then I went to a Stella & Dot party and pub trivia instead.
I don't regret it. 

I took that "Which Member of the Bluth Family?" Buzzfeed quiz

(even though I'm still mad at them)

and I got Lucille. 

No surprise there. 

(Then I took it again & got Buster. Que? 
Then I took it again and got Tobias. End of my life.)
 I am choosing, for my own sanity, to latch on to my first result.

I've long believed that Lucille is one of my spirit animals:

1. She wants alcohol for breakfast

It is a daily struggle deciding not to put Bailey's in my coffee.
My responsibility & fear of getting in trouble force my hand, 
but one of these days, man, one of these days...

(Super secret-but-published-on-my-blog confession in the spirit of Groundhog Week:
I was doing a bit of student teaching during G-hog Week of my junior year.
My roommates & I were out of creamer, 
but obvi had tons of Bailey's, 
so sleepy-Mary "accidentally" put Bailey's in her coffee
& went off to shape the minds of young ones. Whateva.)

2. She doesn't know the value of a dollar

Lucille & I are kind of opposites with this one. 
I am incredibly, embarrassingly cheap.
I scrimp & scrounge in daily life now, 
but it's not-so-secretly because I want to be able to 
buy crazy-luxurious things throughout my life & die surrounded by wealth.
I really want someone to find my abandoned apartment 100 years later
with weird-awesome-fancy things in it.

However, I don't really know the value of a dollar, either. 
I look at a lot of things and think, "I can make that for less." And I do.
But I over-value the things that I can't do, 
like install a stereo system or do a handstand.
I would pay someone waaaay too much money
to do something I cannot or will not. 

(Side note: The ability to do a handstand determined your value in elementary school.
I had to make up for it by playing soccer with the boys at recess
& having the coolest stickers on my binder.
This obviously affected me deeply.)
 
3. She chooses favorites

It instills a healthy sense of competition to play favorites with your children.
The family "favorite child" changed often;
as in, whenever one of us did something Mumsie Dearest liked.
Don't worry, we didn't take it too seriously.
We are naturally over-competitive, anyway.

4. She always wants a drink

Ain't nobody got time for sobriety.

5. She exaggerates everything

Me, to a T. 
Hyperbole is a way to vent.
Obviously, my job is not an actual hellhole, 
but imagining & describing it as such helps relieve the tension.
(But also it sometimes actually is, so shut up about your jobs.)

6. She has road rage

I get passive aggressive road rage. 
When I call a fellow driver "friend", it means the opposite: 
we are the bitterest of enemies
& I would like to ram the back of your Obama-voting, 
COEXIST-believing, idiot Prius.

7. She is anti-social 

I wish, very often, that I could be a hermit.
Don't get me wrong, I adore my friends & family. 
It's the rest of the world that inspires such negativity.
Fairly often, I just want to pull a St. Benedict & leave.

But alas, I have no skills or outdoors-iness. 
I would die. 
I will just have to be a lady-hermit in my eccentric Parisian apartment.
I guess that will do.

8. She has the best comebacks

I either respond with a cutting, snarky remark

or a  playground retort. 

Panic plays a large part in which I choose.

I have many spirit animals, but Lucille is my aging-gracefully

& preserved-by-alcohol spirit animal. 

BLESS.

As I mentioned, this week is Groundhog Week. 
I am tremendously excited & probably won't post again until Monday.

Wedding Weekend #1: High School Reunion

I just took my multivitamin with a healthy sip of wine. 

So, business as usual. 
I also didn't want to get a wine glass dirty, so I'm drinking out of the bottle. 
I live alone; mind your own business.

I just got back from a WONDERFUL weekend in Houston 

("wonderful" & "Houston" aren't usually seen together in a sentence)

celebrating the marriage of one of my dear high school friends. 

It ended up being a bit of a high school reunion which was SO much fun!

(And I'm not even being sarcastic. I enjoyed running into high school people...)

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous:

Left: There were super cute welcome bags in the hotel rooms with snacks and directions to the church & reception venue. 

(The snacks were devoured before a picture could be taken. #sorryimnotsorry)

Middle: I tried to get a picture of the ceremony, but 1) we sat in the very back, and 2) I'm no professional. Sorry.

Right: Beautiful program that I'll keep forever! 
(But not even joking, I will. I'm a sentimental soul.)

TL: My mom and I wanted a picture to show how GIANT the flower arrangements were. 

TR: The cake was pretty AND delicious. Successful wedding, in my book.

BR: There were flowers everywhere-the room smelled amazing.

BL: And I can't resist taking pictures of shiny, gold things. 

Top: Mom and me at the cocktail hour. Houston humidity was not working with my hair.

Middle: Friends from high school! Malloree & Medley looked gorgeous in their bridesmaid dresses!

Bottom: I was so unbelievably happy to see my favorite teacher from high school!

The band was so much fun and they had a totally badass female saxophonist.

Wedding favors!

Left: I can't say no to a custom koozie.

Right: Chips & salsa for a late night snack! 

You can take the girl out of San Antonio, but you can't take San Antonio out of the girl.

When I got back, this was waiting for me:

And it's not even my birthday!

After watching a few episodes, I considered my options:

1) binge-watch every new episode immediately

2) make the joy last and watch a couple of episodes at a time

I'm now more than halfway through the new episodes, 

so I think the "pacing myself" option is out.

Non je ne regrette rien.

And because Johnny can say it better than I can:

(Johnny is the only person who can get away with covering Tom Petty.)

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:13

Because barbecues & great sales are awesome, but today was about 
more than that. 

LSAT + Memorial Day Weekend

T-18 days until LSAT doom. 

No word, yet, on whose doom it will be--mine or the LSAT's.  

I decided (re: was instructed--because at least it would be something to occupy my time) in January to take the LSAT. Wanting to give myself plenty of prep time, I signed up for the June test date (the LSAT is only offered 4 times a year). 
I started studying on my own, and then enrolled in a prep course. 
This is what my days (well, 2-3 days a week for maybe a couple of hours) look like:

I don't know why the building is greenish. Sue me. <--lawyer joke!

The baristas are starting to recognize me. 

I am absolutely ready for this to be over. 

I have "class" 3 times a week, for 3 1/2 hours. 

In addition to the stupid homework.

It is death.

I've been pretty adamant about only taking the test once, so it better go well. 

(I recently spoke to someone who took it three times before she got the score she wanted...

Ain't nobody got time for that.)

My prep course is full of college juniors who are planning on taking the test at least twice.

Which makes me:

1. Resent them for planning ahead and taking this course while still in college.

2. Resent them for having all the time in the world. 

My only solace is that I understand way more than they do (finally, the UD education serves a purpose). 

There's one girl in particular that makes me fear for the future of the legal profession.

Maybe she'll meet some cute, future lawyer and never practice law ever 

(fingers crossed).

However,

I don't have class this Saturday OR this Monday for Memorial Day.

This is exciting for a couple of reasons:

1. My friend, Meredith, is getting married on Saturday!

The last wedding I was at with this girl, 

she challenged me to a margarita-drinking contest 

and I blacked out.

oops.

So I've got some pretty high, hazy expectations.

2. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!!!

via

I don't think I've been this excited for a show since The 10th Kingdom miniseries. 
And that's saying something.
Don't expect contact with me until I finish every episode.


«Random Things»

- While LSAT-ing the other day, I realized that I was doing THE EXACT PROBLEM ELLE WOODS WAS DOING DURING HER STUDY MONTAGE.
Life was simultaneously awesome and still-sucky-because-studying-ugh. 

start at :30


- If you haven't seen the video about Zach Sobiech yet, please watch it and join the rest of us. It's beautiful and depressing and if you don't cry then you have no soul.
Totally worth the 20 minutes and a wonderful representation of a kid living his faith.

-Stumbled upon this gem the other day. 
Monogramming + Gatsby?
So, so good. 
The Avatar Creator isn't too shabby either. 

Also, if you saw Gatsby, but missed the giant bottle of champagne that exploded glitter:

go watch it again.
This picture is fabulous, but doesn't do it justice. 
That giant bottle of champagne/glitter is what I've been searching for 
my entire life.

Things I'm Loving

Was anyone else aware that the stupid/awesome brother from Modern Family is actually a member of MENSA and graduated high school at 13?!

Hat's off to you, kid.

I was going to do a tour of my apartment for this post, 

but then I realized that that would mean cleaning, so

nope.

(Some of you are asking, "But don't you have plenty of time to clean, being unemployed and all?" 

To that I say: Shutupshutupshutup.)

So instead of cleaning, or grocery shopping, or anything else that I should have been doing, 
I watched an episode of Warehouse 13 (no shame in my game) and tried to think of a good blog post. 
My mind was blank. 
I knew I set the bar too high when I posted twice in one week. 

It's cool, though. I would rather post rarely about great things than inundate y'all with my daily activities (because NO ONE'S daily activities are blog-worthy.)

Instead, I will tell you what I'm loving, at this moment:

1. Coyote Drive-In

Coyote Drive-In is this great drive-in movie theatre that just opened about 5 minutes from my apartment. Opening weekend they played classics, but they've started showing all the latest movies as well. There's a bar and concessions (repeat for emphasis: bar), it's pet-friendly, and each screen shows a double-feature for a super low price. 

What's not to love?

2. Running

I have awful knee problems. Too much soccer and ballet when I was younger absolutely destroyed my joints. For years, it was actually too painful to run for any meaningful amount of time, so I had to supplement with other exercises. 

I started running again in January and it definitely wasn't a pleasant experience. I probably will never get real enjoyment out of running, but I do enjoy a challenge. It's been fun to see how much farther I can go each time. My pace is embarrassingly slow (see Homer, above) and it's still pretty painful, but I'm making progress.

My biggest inspiration has been finding out about the runDisney events. Running through Magic Kingdom?? I could die happy.
(Plus, the medal is in the shape of a tiara. GAH.)

3. H-E-B San Antonio blend coffee

Stop what you're doing (or finish reading my blog, whatever), drive to the nearest H-E-B, and get this coffee. This is the coffee we drink at home, and I completely forgot about how good it is until my last weekend at Mom's. 
Sadly, my Central Market doesn't sell it, and there really isn't an H-E-B close to me. 
Mom recently visited and surprised me with a bag of my favorite coffee, but that was just a tease. I have a taste for it and no way of getting it.
BUT have no fear. 
I recently discovered this website that sells the H-E-B coffee! 
Life can go on.

4. Selena Gomez, "Come and Get It"

I'm not even embarrassed. I've listened to it twice already today, and it's only 10:30. 

Super catchy (with a terrible message but it's cool because we've all felt that way) plus I really want to learn the dance from the MTV Movie Awards. 

And I just figured out how to spend the next few hours. 

5. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON 4

It's not even out, but I know it's going to be my favorite thing. The promotions have been genius, the trailer is awesome, and the whole cast came back. PLUS A MOVIE.
I may still be unemployed, but life is looking brighter.