Saturday, June 6, 2015

Real Housewife of Law School: Innocent Until Proven Guilty

If anyone tries to confront me on not being a very good blogger for the next 2 years, I will simply fall to the ground & sob something about suing you. In fact, the same applies if anyone tries to confront me on anything at all. 

First things first: I survived my first year of law school!

Now I have time to reflect and whatnot. (Except not really because I have an internship and a night class.) 
I survived multiple floods, threats of gang violence, horrible traffic, and mosquitos the size of my head. But the worst? The worst was school. Duh. 

My average day during the semester:

7:00 - Lie in bed, questioning all the choices I've made in life. 

7:02 - Get up, take care of all the sundry toiletry things. Change approximately three times because I forget that I live in the worst, most humid place on Earth, and then because I didn't look at the weather and it's raining. #HUMIDITY Ten minutes into my morning routine, I turn on Taylor Swift because at that point I'm slightly awake and can appreciate her glory.

7:35 - Stumble, half-asleep to my car. This day is happening. Driving must occur. Ready, set...commute. 
I either pray a rosary or let more T. Swift wash over me. On the way, I pass 3+ homeless people and almost get hit by wayward vehicles 4 times. Adrenaline pumping, I am now awake. 

7:57 - Sit in the parking lot, drinking my coffee and thinking about driving away. And never coming back. Eventually I remind myself that I can't go back now and law school is a thing I'm doing, so I wander over to the coffee shop across from the law center and finish reading for the day. 

9:00 - 1:00 (ish) - Classes. Yuck. To name a few from my first year: 

  • Lawyering Skills and Strategies: Just the absolute worst. Super tedious, super nit-picky, super stupid. Naturally, it's my one class that lasted two semesters, instead of the usual one. 
  • Torts: One semester later, and I still couldn't give you a proper definition of a tort. The most important thing I learned: never own wild animals or explosives. 
  • Constitutional Law: Waaaaaaay less interesting than it sounds. Highlights: Marbury v. Madison takes a month to talk about, Plessy v. Ferguson is super embarrassing, and Lawrence v. Texas spurs really awkward class discussions. And judges do whatever they want, depending on the general political climate of the country. #Murica
  • Statutory and Regulatory Interpretation: See above about judges and their "interpretive" skills, except a million times worse and even drier than it sounds (if possible).
  • Property: Don't even ask me what happened in this class. I was way too busy crushing on the professor.   
Moral of the story: I spent much of my first year avoiding getting called on. 
I failed that objective miserably, as I was called on more than anyone else in multiple classes. However, I took solace in heaving sighs when stupid people spoke and pretending I was Jim from The Office. 
But I made it through the wilderness. Somehow I made it through. And now it's summer time, which means laying by the pool, trips to the river, and glorious nothing

Sike. There's no rest for the wicked or the law student, so I started an internship with a super interesting non-profit working with death row inmates. 
Maybe I'll elaborate on that at some point, but for now, it will make for some great conversation/drunken debates at the 10,000 weddings I have this summer.