Sunday, November 24, 2013

An Ode to B. Spears

First off, 
can I just say how annoying it is
when someone at work mentions my age?
It's never in admiration. 
No one mentions how young I am
and is impressed with my go-getter attitude & the fact that I have a real job.
Any time my age is mentioned,
it's in a manner of doubt. 
When I was teaching, the other educators were constantly talking
about how young I was.
One even alluded to the fact that I would have her daughter
in my class next year and that she was a little leery.  
And, now, at the law firm, clients & co-workers alike
mention my youth as a sign of ineptitude. 
What do they expect?
There is no law saying young people
must serve five years as retail/fast food workers/babysitters
before obtaining real employment.  
And shouldn't it be an embarrassment that someone fifteen years your senior
has the same job?

Moral of the story:
I don't mention how old you are. 
Please don't mention how young I am. 

Back to ze blog…

(If you're a new reader, this might not be the post to start with.
Try one in which I sound intelligent and not fan-girly.)

Sorry, ladies & gents
(HA! Like anyone of the male persuasion reads my blog):
this one's a fluff piece dedicated to a lovely lady in my life.

I watched this commercial
on my way to a video of super-cute GWB being super-cute on Jay Leno. 
And it got me thinking. 

Britney Spears really does do what she want. 

Like, sometimes, I say it...
…but I know that I really will do whatever a higher authority tells me. 
I'm simply not as brazen as our Supreme Leader Spears. 

I've often threatened to shave my head
(mostly when it's a billion degrees outside because I have quite the mane
and it gets sweaty-difficult.)
But never have I actually taken the clippers to my locks. 
My girl Brit did. 
And she clearly enjoyed it. 

Literally, not a day passes in which I don't feel like hitting someone with an umbrella. 
As I do not have fame & fortune to fall back on, 
I have to practice restraint. 
Baby girl doesn't. 
And I envy her all the more for it. 

I also tend to practice some of that restraint with my clothing choices.
I would love to wear glitter and fur and animal print and tulle ALL THE TIME.
But, alas, I am not a Russian czarina, a lost Russian princess, 
or a member of the Russian mob. 
Maybe not so much the denim-on-denim, though. 
But I'll take a JT on my arm, any day. 

She made an absolutely awful movie
but we've all seen it at least once. 
If you say you haven't, you're a liar. 
This comes on TBS for a full weekend at least once a year. 
Sit down, shut up, and experience some girlfriend roadtripping. 
And then watch her guest star on How I Met Your Mother. 

I'm not obsessed. 
I mean, I hosted multiple Britney-only Power Hours
over my college career.
But that's not crazy.

I just think the fact that she's been freaking AWESOME
for almost 15 years is quite the feat. 

And she makes faces like this while listening to others sing:
Which makes me laugh because that's the face I make when others talk. 
She's a kindred soul & my (drunk) spirit animal. 

Happy early birthday, Brit-Baby. 

Monday, November 18, 2013


These are my latest faves from The Head & the Heart. 
I spontaneously went to their concert on Friday, and it was great.
For some reason, "Let's Be Still" reminds me of a Hilary Duff movie--
that might make it even better? 

I like my job at Anthro. 
It wears me out, and makes my feet hurt, and sometimes I get super stressed, 
but the people are nice, and it smells good, 
and the discount is awesome, and I'm surrounded by beautiful things. 
So it's worth it, in the end. 

Here are some things I've learned at Anthro, so far:

» The world is upside down

More people at Anthro have college degrees or are pursuing degrees
than at the law firm. 
I'll wait while you read that again. 


» Style is (relatively) subjective and ever-changing

I'm more adventurous, style-wise, than I was pre-Anthro.

(Sadly, I also put more care into dressing for Anthro than I do for the law firm.
Everyone at the law firm has glittery fake nails.
Sue me for not caring what they think.)

This is an acceptable work hairstyle at Anthro:
It makes me feel like a sumo wrestler. 
» Shoppers are destructive
The sale section. 
I spent an hour organizing the sale room on Saturday, 
all the while knowing that my work would be for naught.

Here's some friendly retail advice: HANG YOUR CRAP UP. 
If you are the reason something falls to the floor, 
you get to be the one to pick it back up. 
It is my job to sell beautiful things 
and help you find those beautiful things
and get you a fitting room for those beautiful things.
At the end of the day, I help make the beautiful store look beautiful again. 

It is not my job to pick up after you like some maid.

Also, don't leave your coffee cup tucked behind things. 
It's rude. 

» Never turn your back on a child

One: Children go straight to the egg timers
and set all of them to 10 minute intervals. 

Two: Children take the fragile holiday bells
and run through the store ringing them. 

Three: Children take the markers in the fitting room
and write fake names on all of the doors
so I have no idea which rooms are actually in use. 

To be continued, I'm sure...

Monday, November 11, 2013


This will be a short post. 
I can't find the energy or care to actually write anything. 
Here's a photo round-up of recent times:

Halloween weekend:
[Work; Eloise; a leopard]

Genius group costume
This past weekend was my friend, Emily's, birthday
& Kate came into town on her way to a business conference (ADULT). 
Friday night, though I had work in the morning,
we went to The Rustic & Katy Ice House. 
I wasn't planning on going, but Kate convinced me with this text:
She knows I'll do anything for a unicorn drink. 
Emily's husband and Kate planned an AWESOME one-percenter themed party. 
Everyone took is SO seriously and I have never had more fun. 
It's not pictured here, but I wore a monocle. 
Aaaaand I almost (drunkenly) cried at Whataburger because I couldn't find it
and apparently needed it to order. 
Proud & mortified. 

Sunday, my roommate & I went to the Dallas Arboretum 
because she won free tickets. 
Perfect timing because the Pumpkin Village was still there!
And I got to be Cinderella. 
However wonderful the past couple of weekends have been, I ended on a sad note. 
My best doggy friend died after 13 years of glorious pup-dom. 
We've known for a while that the end was near, 
so it wasn't a shock. 
And yet I can't stop crying. 
Is this a stupid reason to call in sick for work tomorrow?
I loved her more than I like most people, so in my mind, it isn't. 
Rest in peace, baby girl.
Anyone who tells me that dogs don't go to heaven is getting their tires slashed, 
in memory of Lady Godiva La Chocolat. 
She would appreciate that. 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Under Pressure

Again I say it--two jobs is no joke. 
I work all the time, 
and I'm either too busy or too tired to see friends. 
Plus I don't know what the heck I'm doing with my life
and I only get one day off for holidays
and I have to do my law school applications
and I have a splinter in my finger that I can't get out
and I need to do laundry
and Obamacare

I'm a little stressed. 

Here's some ways I de-stress:

1. Listening to music
I've got many a playlist. 
I personally LOVE to belt out my feelings with some dramatic musical numbers. 
Depressing chick music works as well. 
I've also been known to have Kermit's "Rainbow Connection" on repeat. 
Don't ask questions; don't make judgments. 
I have many feelings. 

2. Calling Mom
Mom's got all the answers, 
and even when she doesn't, she's at least a sympathetic ear. 
I can't complain to people my age because we're all in the same situation. 
She's also really great at putting things into perspective. 
Remember that one time my dad was in medical school
and had 3 kids under the age of 4?

3. Not eating all day, then bingeing late at night
Super healthy, I know. 
Sometimes you just gotta eat your feelings. 
This manner of dealing with stress often leads to this manner of dealing with stress:

4. Running
We've been over this. 
I'm no marathoner, but doing something feels good. 
And when you have no control over the rest of your life, 
it's an awesome feeling to set & accomplish goals. 

5. Emotional shopping
Re: Anthro.

6. Crying
However embarrassing this is, it's the truth. 
Occasionally, everything gets to be too much
and something stupid sends me over the edge.
Netflix isn't loading?
The dryer didn't get my clothes all the way dry?
Gas light came on?
Huddled over the steering wheel on the side of the road.  
It turns out, I'm a crazy girl. 
*Those situations are hyperbolic. Please don't think I'm actually that crazy. 

7. Wine
I will never say when.

8. Praying
The ol' standby.
Sometimes (lately) my prayers sound like this:

Dear God, 

9. Blowing up Parliament. 
Oh, wait. 
That was Guy Fawkes. 
Happy 5th of November!