Thursday, April 17, 2014


Caló, The Godfather
While this is a clear misquote, the sentiment is still true. 
Southern ladies be crazy. 
Women in general are scary & you better not forget that cannoli. 
I just realized that I made a comment about having nothing in common with 
Catholic moms (and moms, in general) that could be taken poorly. 
But it's the troof. 

We don't have much in common. 
Yes, we are Catholic. 
Yes, we are women--although, I use that term loosely for myself
because I still consider myself but a child. 
See, we can find commonalities if we look at things very generally. 
But let's be real:
We are different.

I could see some ladiez taking offense at this
because they think I mean they're not young & fun. 
They can't drop everything & go out, 
or lay in bed & Netflix all day on the weekends, 
or eat awful things on a whim. 
These things are true, I will not say otherwise. 
I'ma lay down some truth:
You (Catholic) mamas don't want to have much in common with me.
Y'all are done.
Some are probably going to want to whack me when I say this, 
but you are finished with the most stressful parts of life. 

I am totally envious.
You've found someone to spend the rest of your life with, 
and that person is the support for all future stress. 
Every fire you walk through, every stormy sea, 
every endless ferris wheel of mortgages & school projects & insurance,
you will have someone with you. 
That's the best!
You don't have to go out anymore!
That's even better!
Since realizing that I don't want to end up decrepit and alone, 
I have never been more stressed. 
Single & looking is the absolute worst. 
You feel obligated to go out & meet people, 
but for someone like me, that is literal hell. 
I might have mentioned that I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE. 
I like my friends. 
Making new ones is worse than bamboo shoots up my fingernails. 
In fact, if you want to torture me, don't go physical. 
Go mental; put me in a room full of strangers.

 You also have realized your vocation--motherhood. 
I know I want a litter. 
The hard part is getting there. 
Another person is a key part of the child-having equation. 
When my vocation isn't something I can do now, 
I kind of feel like I'm just floating through life. 
Everything I do, job-wise, is just biding my time until I'm barefoot & pregnant. 

I understand that most moms are going to scoff
and (gently) cast aspersions. 
And don't get me wrong--
I love the spontaneity of being young & single & childless. 
I know wifeliness & motherhood & such are stressful, 
but it's a much more STABLE stress. 
I meant no disrespect when I said that we don't have things in common. 
Just give me some time & we'll (hopefully) blog about 
diapers and baby food and homeschooling together. 
I would kill for that…in a few years. 

Blessed Triduum!

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