Damn [I am] the Man

I bought a suit. And not even a cute, Elle Woods suit. (Although I tried a pink suit on just for kicks, but I looked more black-lady-going-to-church than sweet-optimistic-lady-lawyer.)

It's black and kind of ugly because lady suits are super difficult to find without paying all the money. But I heard that suit-buying was a thing to do before law school, so I did it because I am a follower. But I am now also THE MAN. I'm a Suit. I am the establishment I have been anti for some time. 

This really doesn't jibe with my V for Vendetta, anti-authority lifestyle of which I dream. 

 

But that lifestyle doesn't really square with my other dream to be an incredibly wealthy stay-at-home mom of a million children, so I guess I'm in a quandary. I'm telling myself that I'm going to kill it from the inside, Edward Snowden-style. But let's be realistic; my mind is pretty malleable. THE MAN will break me within the first semester. Next time you see me, I'll be droning on (see what I did there? drone? THEY'RE WATCHING.) about the beauty of the American legal system and the perfection that is our checks & balances (HA!). If you're around when this happens, I give you permission to double tap me, a la Zombieland.

My only hope is that, in a sea of faceless suits, I will be anonymous and the path of sabotage & obstruction I wreak will go unnoticed. The American Dream.