Sunday, August 24, 2014

Houston, We Have a Problem

When I started writing this one, I wasn't sure which of my grievances to address: the humidity? the driving? the urban sprawl? the danger? I knew I couldn't draw it out into multiple posts because that would just get tedious and no one likes a downer (unless she's super hilarious, right guys??). However, I do reserve the right to complain about this swamphole (I think I made that term up, but it's fitting) in the future. As the summer is ending and a new (school) year is coming, I will do this in true Festivus fashion: begin with the Airing of Grievances. 

I've spent a good deal of my life in Texas. I am no greenhorn when it comes to the suffocating hell that is humidity. My friends, I was mistaken. Houston is a beast that holds you underwater and expects you to function like a normal human. 
The only seating available at Starbucks today was outside. And as I valiantly attempted my Torts reading, I simply could. not. do it. Because I was damp all over and my glasses kept slipping off of my face. In fact, I can't get out of my car while wearing my glasses because they fog over for about 5 minutes. HOUSTON IS IMPAIRING MY VISION. Also my hair doesn't know how to handle this, so that's just the worst. I have spent 18 out of the 18 days I've been in Houston with my hair in a bun. This cannot continue. 

Actually, the drivers. The awfulness is beyond comprehension. I was honked at repeatedly for acknowledging the speed limit in a school zone. Lane lines are viewed as suggestion. Green arrows on left turns are simply ignored. Stops signs? Nope. 
These people are draining my near-bottomless well of patience. 
I'm linking this one with the urban sprawl. I have yet to figure out what Houston-proper means. There is more suburb than actual city. Maybe I was spoiled, living right in the thick of things in Dallas, but this feels ridiculous.

Complete honesty: I was worried that I was being racist by fearing this city. And then I lived here for a little while. Orientation was full of tidbits like "Don't go to Reliant Stadium alone" and "Have security walk you to your car". Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my biggest fears is The Purge in real life, and I just moved into an already-crime-ridden city. Halp.
«Bonus: Law School»
This one's not unique to Houston. But because I moved here for law school, it's all the same to me. It starts tomorrow, guys. Tomorrow. Am I ready?
I haven't finished the reading, I don't know what I'm wearing, and I'm a little hungover. But here's the secret to my (hopeful) success: aim to be only better than the dumbest person. Set that bar really low and I can't help but triumph! No shame in my game. Wish me luck & below-average-intelligence classmates...

Thursday, August 7, 2014

101 in 1001-ish

I totally intended to post this one about a week ago, but I think the timing works out better this way. I'm straddling the line between wanting to be a "real" blogger who has actual followers, and being far too lazy to put in the effort to become that. This is something "real" bloggers do, so I hopped on the bandwagon. However, in true social-media-slacker fashion, I got about halfway done before I realized that I don't really have many goals. Which is why many of these "goals" are inevitable things, like getting to know the city in which I now live and starting law school. In order to not accomplish those things, I would have to barricade myself in my apartment and have everything delivered. Which actually sounds kind of nice...
1. Start law school
2. Find an apartment in Houston
3. Visit T in DC
4. Visit KP in ATL
5. Attend a blogging conference (maaaaaybe)
6. Organize my iTunes
7. Go to the symphony
8. Get a massage
9. Make Law Review
10. Send handwritten letters regularly
11. Reread at least 3 Core books
12. Get to know Houston
13. Go to the drive-in movie theater
14. Fix Moose-olini (my DIY mounted moose is looking a little lot sad)
15. Finish my t-shirt quilt
16. Go to an event by myself
17. Complete the Camino de Santiago
18. Do a weekend in the hill country vineyards
19. Join the DAR & DRT
20. Go on a shopping hiatus
21. Attend the opera
22. Maintain a workout regimen throughout law school
23. Go to the ballet
24. Organize le blog
25. Try on dresses at BHLDN for funsies
26. Go to another music festival (it's been a long while since my last ACL)
27. Take a roadtrip
28. Do (at least) one out-of-my-comfort zone activity
29. Get at least one more stamp in my passport
30. Make time for scripture/prayer every day for a month (habit-forming and whatnot)
31. Visit Wizarding World of HP
32. Sing karaoke in public
33. Commission a piece of art
34. Go on a spontaneous trip
35. Do a Color Run
36. Take a cooking class
37. Spend 24 hours unplugged
38. Make it back for Groundhog during law school
39. Purge my closet
40. Learn calligraphy
41. Find a gun range in Houston
42. Learn to French braid
43. Say yes to something I normally wouldn't
44. Volunteer
45. Go to blogger events in Houston
46. Go to a comedy club
47. Create a gallery wall
48. Get a credit card (shut up, I'm terrified of debt after working at that bankruptcy place.)
99. Come up with 101 things
100. Graduate from law school
101. Put $5 into savings for every goal accomplished

Suggestions are welcome, because without other people telling me what to do, I would probably be a beauty school dropout. And now that you all have that song stuck in your head, I bid you adieu.

And if you are one of the few who don't have that stuck in your head, here ya go: 
Law school starts soon. And I don't really want those betches knowing who I am, mostly because I want to be able to blog about them. So I won't be posting my blogs via my own FB page anymore. To stay up-to-date on all things me, you'll have to follow me via Bloglovin' or like my Pretty Witty Gracious FB page. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good won't post anything superfluous; just my posts, when I get around to writing them. Scouts honor. 
So go on and follow that link into the interwebz, and like my page. Plz.