Friday, October 10, 2014

The 5 People You Meet in Law School

Quick recap of this week:

  • Spent way too much money on the down-payment on a Bar Prep course...that I won't be taking for 3 years
  • Learned that I'm beyond terrible at legal writing (which is 60% of my grade in one class)
  • Received information about applying for internships...for next summer
  • Read approximately 1,000 pages of soul-crushingly boring case law & history

In short, screw the hell out of this nonsense.

I'm 7 weeks into law school. That simultaneously feels like eons & no time at all. The semester is whizzing by -- time flies when you're having no fun at all! -- and I feel slightly ready to give a firm-ish status check. This topic has been broached many a time by better blogs than mine, but I know that y'all just love hearing me say things. 

The 5(+) People You Meet in Heaven Law School

1. Da Gunner
Take cover when the professor asks questions -- hands being raised at such high speeds have been known to cause injury. Gunners usually have a pretty solid grasp of what's going on, and they want everyone aware of it. No one's best friend, but probably good to exchange niceties in case you need some non-professorial help later. 

2. That Guy
Not quite smart enough to be a gunner, but thinks he can fake his way to the winner's circle. Most often, that means raising questions in class that slow. everything. down. As in, hypotheticals. "So hypothetically, if plaintiff had been able to stop in mid-air before he fell on the defendant and was able to negotiate terms of payment for not squishing defendant, would there have been an enforceable contract?" Legitimate question from last week. 

3. Erin Brockovich
There's always a cause. When they find out you aren't thinking about public interest law, they will treat you like a leprous combination of the Grinch & Scrooge. That is, until they hear how much that associate position at V&E pays. 

4. The Benchmark
Also known as the canary in the mine. When you're doing at least as well as this person, everything's swell. You know you need to step up your game when they can explain something better than you. They haven't started outlining yet? If you've done one class, you're good to go. They've already started their brief? Get to it. I think the key is to be one step ahead of The Benchmark at all times. Aim for the minimum + 1. 

5. Peter Pan
Ah, undergrad. It was a beautiful time. But youth is fleeting and most of us have accepted that life must go on. Peter Pans treat law school like Undergrad 2.0, going out in Midtown every weekend, talking about their high school athletics, & discussing Greek life. 
At some point, you've got to change out of your leggings + XL t-shirt, and grow up. That point is now.

6. The Mid-Life Crisis
The awkwardly old person. Mine happens to be a former OB/GYN baby boomer. It's bad enough being in school; having the person next to you be older than your parents is just not okay. At this point, you can feel the entire class shift our gaze to her when we discuss any case before 1890: Let's just ask the person who was around for this. It's disconcerting when we take notes via our computers & she whips out a feather quill. This woman is easily within 10 years of retirement. So, just a casual question: WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG THAT LAW SCHOOL WAS A BETTER CHOICE THAN BEING A DOCTOR? 

And then there's me: the resident relatively-apathetic-while-still-freaking-out, fairly-bright-but-definitely-learning-her-limitations, future-JD-seeking-future-MRS law student blogger. 
Sue me. 
A special treat:

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