2018: My Year in [Trump] Gifs

2018 was the year I finally got my life together (she said for the 5th year in a row). 

But I mean it this time. Mostly because there really isn't any other option.

This year, I dedicate my end-of-year gif journey to our lord and savior, Donald Trump. 

January

I have almost no memory of January, aside from spending New Years in Dallas with some of my favorite people.
Most of the month has been memory-holed because my job was the worst and I cried a lot. 🤷‍♀️

February

February got real. I quit another job, guys!
At this point, if anyone needs advice on quitting...please don't come to me because I'm still terrified of confrontation and this last experience was a whole different kind of mess.
I submitted my resignation letter fully expecting them to do the normal thing and not make me finish out the notice period. Joke was on me, though, because not only did they expect me to keep working, they also wanted me to represent the boss's wife in traffic court.
Y'all, I won't represent myself in traffic court. My legal* advice: own up to being a bad driver, pay the damn fine and move on.
Fortunately, I immediately got a terrible case of the flu and told them that I wouldn't be able to come in for about...two weeks. Wiggled myself out of that one, right?
NOPE. Lawyers are the worst and there is no leaving on your own terms. This law firm was Hotel California.
In a wholly unsurprising move, they immediately threatened legal action against me.

It took a full week of insincere apologies (combined with refusals to back down), explanations of Texas employment law (lawyers love when you explain the law to them), and even texting a picture of my thermometer before they stopped emailing me.

I started a new job as soon as I escaped from the grips of fever, and haven't looked back since.

*By "legal" I mean "completely casual, not at all legal." I am not your lawyer. You are not paying me. You're an adult and traffic court is dumb; make your own decisions.

March-April

A blur. At this point, Tyler was still in school and I was working nonstop.
I'm fairly certain March and April just didn't happen.

May

Tyler graduated! I took an elbow to the head at a Papa Roach concert! Tyler started bar prep.
May was a rollercoaster.

June

In this hottest of times in the hottest of swamps, THE A/C IN MY CAR STOPPED WORKING.
This was a month of thirst.
So I parked her in the Third Ward and set her on fire.
Except in reality, I parked her in my garage and went to Louisiana with my parents for a bit.
(If you've ever considered going to Walker Percy Weekend in St. Francisville, do it! Bourbon for dayz.)

July

Tyler took the bar exam and I experienced a tremendous amount of PTSD.
We both need(ed) emotional therapy dogs.

August-September

Is this how life works? Months just disappear because nothing of note happened?
Do I have a Swiss cheese brain?
Or did I accidentally eat too many Tide pods?
(Remember that that was a thing?? 2018 was a wild ride.)

October

Tyler got a (very impressive and will keep me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed) job! And passed the bar!
We fancy dined! We drank! We treated ourselves!
And then we took a three day nap that was two years overdue.

November

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I am proud to announce my latest collection entitled "Ring in Front of Christmas Decorations."
(But really, girlfriend looks good in red, am I right?)

December

Engaged, the perfect job, and (mom's old) Lexus? I AM THRIVING.

A few questions I've asked in the 4+ weeks since getting engaged:
Are live peacocks too extra?
Where did Kanye get that giant flower wall?
How long was Priyanka's train and, hypothetically and totally unrelated, how long is the aisle at the cathedral?
I wonder what Donald and Melania are doing next fall?

Gird your loins, people.

A certain grumpy, no fun fiance who shall remain nameless has banned the words "bling" and "glitter" from our wedding lexicon, but luckily ya girl is an actual walking thesaurus so there will be plenty of *ahem* sparkle. (Suck it, Tyler.)

Wedding Motto: WWM(elania/Mariah)D?

We have a date, a church, and a reception venue. I'm basically done, right?
I've gone full-on Type A on this wedding planning and partially created at least 4 wedding websites because I am an actually insane person.
(In my defense, while there is [a lot of] overlap, each website offers different features and designs
AND THIS IS MY WEDDING SO BACK THE HELL UP IF YOU WANT AN INVITE.)

Honorary December gif:

100 pounds, Your Majesty. IT'S WEDDING SEASON. 

Happy New Year!