Thursday, May 30, 2013

Harry Potter & The Goonies Taught Me Everything I Know

I'm about to reveal my nerdiness for all of the Internet-folk to gawk at. 
But these are the same Internet-folk who brought us this monstrosity
so I'm not too worried about their judgment.

Plus, I went to UD, so it's not like I was hiding it.  

The Goonies is one of my very favorite movies and reminds me of my childhood. 
Because my childhood was spent seeking out pirate ships in the Pacific Northwest. 
(That's only halfway true.)
And Harry Potter is one of my very favorite book series.

Obviously, I didn't learn everything I know from Harry Potter & The Goonies.
I had to give my parents something to do.
But they both taught me many important lessons, some of which are:

» "Goonies never say die!"

Don't give up. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Get back in the saddle. 
All the things our teachers tried to instill in us, 
but the Goonies made SUCH a better impression. 
Fifth grade teacher who cried while reading us Tuck Everlasting? Psh.
Mikey who gives great speeches and goes on adventures? Duh.

I also had the Goonie Oath memorized as a child. 

Nuclear war is still a big concern, guys.

» Be nice to handicapped people.

Hey you guys!  
There are many reasons to do this, not the least being 
that they are God's children the same as you and I. 
Sloth deserved better; they all deserve better.
Also, such behavior could save your life.

» Always be on your best behavior.

Don't do anything you wouldn't want to admit out loud. 
Also, be honest with yourself and others around you.

And maybe don't cause a puking pandemic.

Secondary lesson: People just want to be heard, even if they're telling fairly terrible things.

Tertiary lesson: Sometimes the ice cream just isn't worth it. 

» Friendship & loyalty above all else. 

"Down here it's our time. It's our time down here."

Even if it completely panics your parents/guardians, it's cool to be selfish 
and stick with your friends sometimes
That sort of friendship could help save your small, Pacific Northwest community.
(Or defeat the Dark Lord...)

» "It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities."

» "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one remembers to turn on the light."

» "Humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them." 

I'm a terrible decision-maker. 
I wait until the very last possible second, then panic-choose. 
Aaaaand I inevitably choose poorly.

But even those rare times I don't panic-choose, I still choose poorly.
(Usually because I give in to sense > reason; I'm like a puppy.)
I think most people are like that, even if you don't recognize it, you hypocrites.

And finally, 

» "Yer a wizard, (M)ary."

Honestly, this is the most important lesson I learned in all of my childhood. 
Without it, I would have ended up going to some boring liberal arts university 
and probably be unemployed and pathetic.
So glad that didn't happen.

Honorable Mention:
  • Knowledge of history is important. Especially pirate/wizard history.
  • Piano lessons can save your life.
  • It's really important to have at least one super smart friend. (Data/Hermione)
  • Puberty is an awful thing. (ex: braces, Neville)
  • Watch out for booby traps. (ex: Chester Copperpot, Triwizard Tournament maze)

Sidenote: While prowling the Internets for suitable images & whatnot, I came across this article enumerating the lessons Muslims can learn from Harry Potter. 
(Read at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you...)

If you got to the end and you're still reading, here's a reward:


  1. (I just want to tell you that I read "hey you guys" in Sloth's voice.) Also, loved this educational post.

    1. Thanks! I will admit that I used Sloth's voice as a typed it.

      Then I repeated it out loud several times while making dinner. It's a good thing I live alone...