Urban Jungle Gym

My old apartment complex in Fort Worth had a gym, 

so now I'm confronting the problem of where/how to work out. 

Living in the city presents you with many different exercise options, 

but having a desk job is kind of a death sentence. 

Here are some of the options I've considered:

»Pedometer:

Tried, failed. 

It mostly made me sad that I could never hit that daily goal--

not for lack of trying, though. 

I took unnecessary trips to the restroom, went the long way to my office, 

asked a question in person rather than by phone...

but my boss might get a little suspicious when I'm spending

my time fervently staring at the ticking numbers on my phone

while marching in circles. 

Tyrant. 

I started work at Anthro this weekend, 

and I had the very fleeting thought that I could get my goal completed (and then some)

if I walked to NorthPark. 

And then I mapped it

and realized that no one wants to buy anything from someone looking like this:

Reporting for hipster chic duty.

Also, the pedometer app draaaained the life out of my phone. 

NIX.

»UGH Crossfit:

I apologize to those of you who do Crossfit; 

I hate everything about it. 

Mostly, I hate it for women. 

I'm a much bigger (no pun intended) fan

of the soft, Marilyn-esque body. 

A girl at work recently told me 

(and continues to express it at least once a week)

that she's jealous of my "booty". 

I really can't decide if such bootylicious-ness is a good thing, 

but on most days I prefer it to the kind of body that intense Crossfit produces. 

Which brings me to my next point--the CF intensity.

I'm blanket statement-ing here, but CF people are so damn intense about it. 

It's great that you've got something you love, 

but it would be ridiculous if everyone talked constantly about some random hobby.

Facebook would get so annoying--oh, wait...

Also, this can happen. 

»Katy Trail

Since moving back into Dallas, 

I'm only a little ways from the Katy Trail. 

It's awesome for getting outdoors and forcing the realization 

that you'll never afford the houses in Turtle Creek.

And I enjoy running, as much as anyone with 

a bad knee & penchant for sitting around binge-watching TV can. 

My issue is my schedule. 

It's totally possible for me to get up earlier in the morning to run on Katy Trail, 

I just don't want to. 

I'm much more of an evening person.

Except I don't get home from work until 8:30, 

so I don't get to Katy Trail until about 9. 

At 9 PM, Katy Trail is nearly empty,

and it's prime rape-and-kill hours. 

Granted, the fear makes me run faster. 

»Pure Barre

I'm not even going to waste blog time/space on this.

If I had an extra million dollars lying around, 

I wouldn't spend it on overpriced ballet-pilates. 

This sort of thing is for the birds & rich SMU girls. 

I'll probably end up getting a plain, old gym membership.

At least there's a hot tub?

(There better be a hot tub.)