Monday, December 2, 2013

Airport Etiquette

I spent an inordinate amount of time in the airport this past week, 
considering I was only home for two days. 
I figured the airport would be a madhouse on Wednesday afternoon, 
so I got to the airport a million hours early, 
only to get through security in literally 5 minutes.
Good ole Love Field. 
And I was dropped at the airport in San Antonio
a bit too early because my parents were on their way to a party. 
As such, I now consider myself an expert on airports. 
Ask me anything.
I could probably do a better job than any TSA agent, 
but that's to be expected, 
considering I have a halfway functioning brain and a smidgen of common sense. 

My hours in the airport were rampant with eavesdropping material. 
A few things you should never discuss in a public place:

-how the doctor removed your cyst

-the family problems you will encounter over Thanksgiving
(especially when talking to a stranger)

-anything said when sitting by yourself in the airport bar

I find it aesthetically offensive when people dress for flying
as if they are about to be put into a coma. 
Sure, the seats aren't super comfortable
but you're not sitting on a hardwood bench for days.
And if you were, those flannel monstrosities aren't going to help much. 
Neither are your skintight yoga pants.
Man up and wear some real clothing.
Ignore the "Peace Corps Volunteer" part. Just get out. 
Think about flying 50 years ago. 
People dressed.
As technology has increased, humanity's ability to wear non-elastic clothing
while in the air seems to have decreased. 
Being poorly dressed isn't a thing, so stop trying to make it a thing.

This post is going to have to end early. 
I just worked all weekend at Anthro. 
I was excited to work after Thanksgiving
because I could finally embrace all the holiday loveliness. 
But after a few days of the same remixed Christmas music on repeat, 
I feel like the holidays just curb-stomped me. 
I came home to a VERY large glass of wine tonight. 

I have another full week at the law firm
& then another weekend at Anthro. 
My next day off is not anywhere on the horizon. 
And now my eye is twitching.