Thursday, February 27, 2014

I'm With Stupid

I am going to fail out of law school.
I haven't even started, but I know this to be true.
My brain does a weirdly good job of retaining trivia, 
but isn't so great at keeping all the smart stuff in. 

I won celebrity bankruptcy trivia at work
(exactly what it sounds like: trivia about celebrities who've gone bankrupt), 
and I did so well that my boss asked me if I cheated. 
But ask me about the historical novel I'm currently reading, 
and I got nothing. 
I can tell you the basic idea, but I don't remember any details. 
I can tell you, however, that George Clooney is starring in the movie version. 

I once vividly described an episode of Hart of Dixie
during a conversation with Tessabelle.
I can even picture what the main characters were wearing, 
mostly because everyone dresses super cute on that show.

Quiz me on philosophy. 
Actually, please don't. 
It would be embarrassing. 
I could probably muddle my way through a conversation, 
but only by way of that going-off-of-what-smarter-people-just-said thing. 
I hate myself for doing that, but it's a survival skill.
Frequently, I feign less trivial knowledge of Harry Potter
because I don't want to look like a creep.
In reality, my HP skillz could earn me a position as Hogwartz headmaster. 
My brain senses true knowledge coming towards it
and puts up a deflector shield.
But pointless trivia?
Soaks that stuff up like the vapid little sponge it is.

Thus, this sad, terrible bankruptcy firm is my hey-day. 
This is the last time I will feel superior to anyone. 
The last time I will be surrounded by comparatively stupider people. 
I do not treasure it while in the midst of it, 
but I will look back at these days with fondness. 

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