Thursday, May 29, 2014

I'm Not Awful (In Comparison)

My only goal in life is to be better than the most horrible person in the room. 
Depending on the company, that aim can be quite lofty or laughably easy. 
Par exemple:
Mumsifer & I got our nails done today. While there, a group of 3 young females came in. They proceeded to slam complimentary lime-a-ritas (because our nail salon is fab) and badmouth their boss. So normal lady stuff. 
But then
one of these chickadees proved herself to be the most horrible of anyone ever. 
Upon asking for a second round of free drinks, the owner signaled for them to be served a wee bit less than the norm, probs because this chica was loud & obnoxious without being drunk.
The lovely lady, catching sight of this signal, called out the owner, imitated Asian language sounds, claimed she's dating an Asian so she understands what they're saying, told them they're doing her nails wrong because "she graduated high school in cosmetology", and demanded 50% off. 
To their credit, the employees ignored her completely and went on with their work. 
Me? I would've left her with those uncut, ridiculously long fake nails glued on and told her to get the hell out. 
Try opening that lime-a-rita now, betch.
There were a couple of times I wanted to intervene and tell her what a hose beast she was being, but this chick looked like she could throw down & had at least 30 pounds on me. So I just watched.
Lesson learned: I should keep one awful person around so I look like gentle & sweet like K. Middleton. 

Today, not being the most horrible person in the room simply meant not insulting an entire race in public. That's something I can handle.  
Just say no, y'all. 
I spent all day writing another post that was seriously just too offensive to publish. 
That's why this one is so late. 
Mabes I'll try to edit the other one into acceptability? Ugh. 

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