Thursday, May 15, 2014

Started From the Bottom, Now We're One Step Up From the Bottom

Sometimes I wish that my blog would be *discovered*.
(If you're reading that correctly, it's like saying that word with jazz hands.)

Sidenote: I used to wish I would be *discovered*
and I could do something fun and be famous. 
I didn't know what, but I dreamed of it. I've now lowered my expectations
and simply want my blog to be the famous one. Sigh

But every time I even start thinking about putting some effort into this whole
social media-Internets-platform-networking deal
(do you like how geezer-y I sounded there?), 
I rein it in because it just looks like a lot of work. 
And if we all know one thing, it's that I don't like to work -- unemployment joke FTW.

Also there's this:

- I don't (care to) understand copyright laws
I recently saw a mini-rant (from a Catholic mom-blogger, no less)
about someone re-blogging a personal photo that she had put on her blog. 
Essentially, she was wondering if there were any legal avenues of revenge
and how to force the person to credit her for the photo.
This is a thing I should worry about, apparently. 
I get most of my images from The Great Google and then I sometimes manipulate them. 
I literally never credit my sources. 
Luckily, I haven't stolen any images from that lady
because it sounds like she's close to the slashing-tires-jump-you-in-a-back-alley revenge.
Didn't we all learn in, like, 4th grade that things you post on the Internets 
are kind of a free for all?
I like to imagine it as a giant, troll-filled commune. 
It's like how cameras steal your soul; the Internets steal everything but gives to all. 

- I can't afford Photoshop
If there is money left over, it goes to drinks and clothes. 
That is a hard & fast rule.
 Photoshop also just sounds complicated. 
I don't really have the time to learn about it, and blogging is hard enough without having
to create graphics of my own. 
If forced to do so, I would get too caught up in creating pictures and my posts would look something like this:
I didn't have time to write a post, but here's a picture of a cat riding a unicorn.
Nobody wants that. 

- I really appreciate my downtime
People who big-time blog always have something going on. 
I don't have kids for whom I can craft wildly fanciful birthday parties, 
I can't afford to host dinner parties once a week, 
I don't really get invited to chic events all that often (I know, right?! Rude.),
I'm not planning my wedding,  
and I'm not restoring an old Craftsman home. 
I also don't want to do those things right now. 
(Good Lord, now that I see it, how do I even find things to blog about??)
I really really really like my wine-and-Netflix nights.
AKA every night. And some days.

If my blog ever makes it big, it will be through absolutely no effort of my own. 
Thank you and good night. 
*None of these pictures are mine and I would give credit to those people who created them if I cared even a little bit. Please don't sue me, I'm sure we can work something out. I make a mean chocolate chip oatmeal cookie plus I have wine & a Netflix account. If you sue me, I'll counter sue and just make this go on for a really long time, so you're better off taking the cookies and wine and Netflix. Do we have a deal?