If I Could Plan My Own Birthday (+ Magic Was Real...)

I'm at that stage of unemployment

where I'm pretty ready to just Walden out. 

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air & all that. 

I went through a pretty sweet Walden phase my last couple of years of high school.

My mom refers to it as my "hippie" phase, 

but that sounds philosophically & fashionably tragic.

It was a little tragic. 

(Photos from junior & senior year, respectively.) 

There are no jobs to be had, 

so I might as well finally realize my high school dream:

to live in a school bus in the wilderness, hunt & forage for my food, 

and listen to the Dead all day.

(Replace the Dead with Pearl Jam and my dream is Into the Wild. I understand that.

Please don't make fun of 18-year-old me.)

Anywhoodle, my birthday is on Saturday.

Here's what I would do if I could plan my own birthday + magic was real:

(22 going on 8, y'all)

Wake up: breakfast with the Disney princesses

This is a real thing. 

I did it at Disney World for my friend's 18th birthday.

However, I would like to do it with the actual princesses,

not actors. 

We also got princess makeovers. DO NOT DO THIS.

That amount of gel + that amount of eye shadow does not belong on a white girl. 

Plus, 18-year-old me had terrible taste in earrings. GIANT HEARTS WHAT WHAT.

9:30-10:00 Pet a unicorn

Unicorns are wild creatures, so keeping it isn't an option, 

but petting it is. 

10:00-2:00 Go to Harry Potter-land (aka The Wizarding World of Harry Potter)

Being completely honest, 

I sometimes spend long periods of time thinking about how great this place must be.
I have a passionate love for Disney World and didn't think it could get better. 

And then the geniuses at Disney added Harry Potter. 

Fair warning: I will probably tear up if I ever make it there. 

And while I was at Harry Potter-land, I would receive my owl!

Yes, I would be the oldest student at Hogwarts but whatevaaa. 

2:00-2:01 Spend time with Doctor Who

I would only need a minute, because it's time travel.

Duh.

I COULD GO ANYWHERE & ANY TIME.

#imonlyalittleembarrassed

2:01-5:00 Shopping spree 

I will not be limiting myself to one location. 

I would like a worldwide shopping spree.

Fifth Avenue,Via Montenapoleone,

 Bahnhofstrasse, Avenue Montaigne, & back to La Cantera. 

Dream big.

Cue great "shopping" movie montage:

5:00-6:00 Play with a truckload of puppies

6:00-9:00 Classic movie-watching party at Hollywood Blvd Cinema with EVERYONE 

This movie theatre is beautiful. 

I would live there if I could.

Every theatre is themed & decorated to perfection.

The restrooms are not Men/Women; they are "Norman's" & "Mother's". I die. 

This is Coconut Grove & it is decorated like the streets of Casablanca. Guess what movie would be playing? 

9:00-??? Party it up in Vegas with my favorite people

It would start early because there's no time to be wasted with pre-gaming nonsense.

Everyone would go immediately from the movies to Vegas, 

& would be automatically dressed to the nines. 

All of my friends from every stage of life would be there + all of my favorite bands would play 

and then wander around talking to everyone, & it would be Gatsby-style.

Not 40s-themed, but FABULOUS-themed. 

Brian Litrell having a conversation with my bestie from 5th grade while Alanis dances with Biggie (RIP) to Michael Buble while showgirls drop glitter from chandeliers?

Can't imagine better. 

???-A.M. Spend the night in the Cinderella Suite

I would begin & end in Disney. 

Just as it should be. 

I have set my goals high. We'll see how it goes.