Jabberwocky

First:

I don't understand why we don't hijack all activities/businesses

and make it okay to drink wine in said activities/businesses. 

Why did it just occur to someone that we can drink while painting

and people will pay crazy money for it?

And why did they stop there?

Central Market has the right idea:

they let you drink wine while grocery shopping.

Let's start something, people. 

Pinot at the post office, Malbec at the mall, a Bordeaux at the bank.

We'll call ourselves the Red Revolution. 

FYI:

I am drinking wine while doing my nails. 

Not at all the same result as drinking wine while someone else does your nails.

This post was initially going to be about misheard lyrics. 

I have a serious issue with not understanding the words to songs

and then, when challenged, swearing vehemently that my version is right. 

(Spoiler: it rarely is.)

But then I realized that some of the lyrics I was hearing
were right and just weird as hell. 
So now this post is about the stupid lyrics I must be hearing wrong, but am not. 

"Spice Up Your Life" Spice Girls

This one came out when I was 7, 
so, when listening at 23, I thought I had been a weird little girl
with a crazy imagination. 
True, but not in this case. 

I think what really got me was:

{Yellow man in Timbuktu, 
Colour for both me and you 
Kung fu fighting, 
Dancing queen 
Tribal spaceman 
and all that's in between} 

But also:

{We moonwalk the foxtrot 
Then polka the salsa} 

No, you don't, girls. Because that's impossible. 
Seven-year old me tried it. 

"50 Ways to Say Goodbye" Train

Get it. A Train…wreck. HA!

{She'll think I'm Superman
Not super Minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?}

I love Jews more than the average person. 
I can't really explain it, but I do. 
So, I thought I was forcing some Semitic love on these lyrics, 
but no. 
Train really does mention Yom Kippur. 

"One Week" Barenaked Ladies

Just the whole thing. 
In it's entirety. 
Not one thing makes sense. 
That can't be what he's saying…
Yes, it can. 

"Loser" Beck

{In the time of chimpanzees
I was a monkey}

Not a great start, Beck. 

{You get a parking violation
And a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face
With some mace in the dark}

A reasonable reaction to a parking ticket & disgusting larva, I'm sure.
Is he really…? Yes. 

"Flightless Bird, American Mouth" Iron & Wine

The song is actually really beautiful, 
and maintains it's beauty even after you know the lyrics, 
which is quite a feat:

{Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain stream}

…que?

And here's these for good measure:

Happy Epiphany! 

2013: Is it Over Yet?

Bloggers like lists & recaps. 

So here's my recap of my 2013.

It was a doozy. 

JANUARY:

I quit my teaching job. 

Let the misery begin.

In reality, one form of misery ended

but the misery of being bored & unsatisfied & not knowing where my life was going 

began.

FEBRUARY:

I was convinced to take the LSAT --

at least something to occupy my time.

(I'm sure it will pay off in the end…maybe.)

MARCH:

March is a blur --

one existential crisis after another.

Pain. Lots of pain.

APRIL:

I started blogging!

Because misery loves company & attention.

Little did I know, people would actually want to 

read my millennial complaints.

My whining hit the mark

for more people than I ever expected. 

So, thanks for having the same #firstworldproblems that I have?

MAY:

Meredith got married in Houston 

& gave me an excuse for a mini-roadtrip/forget about my troubles!

Plus, I got to binge-watch the newest Arrested Development. 

Oh, the disappointment.

JUNE:

LSAT, baby.

I swore I would only take it once

and I stay true to my word.

JULY:

I took an extended trip home, 

because what else does one do when one has NOTHING to do.

Also, 

I got a job!

I was unaware of the hell it would quickly become, 

so I was overjoyed.

Remember this:

Nothing's changed, except the smallest raise in the history of raises

and a different job title.

Waaaaaah.

AUGUST:

I moved back to Dallas.

Love the fact the my commute became almost non-existent

and that I'm closer to friends, 

hate leaving Fort Worth behind.

I adored my first (tiny) adult apartment

and living downtown

and the comfortable feel of Fort Worth.

But Dallas is cool too, I guess.

Also, Em got married!

SUCH a fun wedding.

SEPTEMBER:

Absolutely nothing but work & summoning up

the energy to see friends. 

This is what the rest of my life looks like.

OCTOBER:

I started working at Anthro!

Also, my first alumni weekend during which 

I actually felt a bit awkward being on campus.

NOVEMBER:

KP visited Dallas, Em had a birthday, & I wore a monocle.

The best of months.

DECEMBER:

I quit Anthro.

I'm a one-job kind of girl, it turns out.

I demoted myself.

But New Year's Eve!

I love the holiday season because it's sparkly and Jesus, 

but NYE is the pinnacle of shimmery days.

It's actually frowned upon to NOT have glitter.

It's also a time of remixes, 

as we attempt to edit the last year into something better than what it actually was.

Hindsight & rose-colored glasses & whatnot.

So here's a playlist for NYE, including some fab remixes:

And always, always the DJ Earworm Remix:

Happy New Year!
Let's hope for fewer (or maybe better) life-altering decisions in 2014!

The Six Days of Meowmas

To get through the misery that is my (work) day, I set challenges for myself.

One day, I drank as much water as I possibly could.

Over 100 ounces and as many bathroom breaks, thank you very much.

This time, it was a weekly challenge that I didn't realize until Wednesday.

While putting together an outfit, 

I recalled what I had already worn:

Monday: 

via

Tuesday:

(This is a homemade leopard infinity scarf, just FYI. Crafty.)

Wednesday:

via

*Are we noticing a trend?

This is when the idea took shape.

Can a person wear leopard print to the office for an entire week?

More importantly, will anyone at the office notice?

Let's find out…

Thursday:

Friday:

They're cuter in person. Promise. 

via

Saturday:

I made a bold move & wore this little number for a slow Saturday.

It's LEOPARDS on LEOPARD. 

{Oh beautiful for leopard skies, 

for leopard waves of grain; 

for leopard mountain majesties

above the leopard plain!}

…

Day 24:

I showed up to work in my leopard snuggie. 

Still no one acknowledges. 

My meows for attention go unheeded. 

I'm growing worried that I can no longer survive without the leopard.

I found myself lapping milk from a dish during my lunch break.

What's a cat to do?

Please send help and/or catnip…

JUST KIDDING.

I'm still a person.

Obviously, if I were to turn into an animal, it would be a unicorn.

Plus, I hate cats.

In reality, either no one noticed the incredible amount of leopard

or they kept their awe to themselves.

Probs the latter. 

Just the family joking around for our annual Christmas card!

Merry Christmas!