Sunday, December 29, 2013

2013: Is it Over Yet?

Bloggers like lists & recaps. 
So here's my recap of my 2013.
It was a doozy. 

I quit my teaching job. 
Let the misery begin.

In reality, one form of misery ended
but the misery of being bored & unsatisfied & not knowing where my life was going 

I was convinced to take the LSAT --
at least something to occupy my time.
(I'm sure it will pay off in the end…maybe.)

March is a blur --
one existential crisis after another.
Pain. Lots of pain.

I started blogging!
Because misery loves company & attention.

Little did I know, people would actually want to 
read my millennial complaints.
My whining hit the mark
for more people than I ever expected. 
So, thanks for having the same #firstworldproblems that I have?

Meredith got married in Houston 
& gave me an excuse for a mini-roadtrip/forget about my troubles!
Plus, I got to binge-watch the newest Arrested Development. 
Oh, the disappointment.

LSAT, baby.
I swore I would only take it once
and I stay true to my word.

I took an extended trip home, 
because what else does one do when one has NOTHING to do.
I got a job!
I was unaware of the hell it would quickly become, 
so I was overjoyed.
Nothing's changed, except the smallest raise in the history of raises
and a different job title.

I moved back to Dallas.
Love the fact the my commute became almost non-existent
and that I'm closer to friends, 
hate leaving Fort Worth behind.
I adored my first (tiny) adult apartment
and living downtown
and the comfortable feel of Fort Worth.
But Dallas is cool too, I guess.

Also, Em got married!
SUCH a fun wedding.

Absolutely nothing but work & summoning up
the energy to see friends. 
This is what the rest of my life looks like.

I started working at Anthro!
Also, my first alumni weekend during which 
I actually felt a bit awkward being on campus.

KP visited Dallas, Em had a birthday, & I wore a monocle.
The best of months.

I quit Anthro.
I'm a one-job kind of girl, it turns out.
I demoted myself.

But New Year's Eve!
I love the holiday season because it's sparkly and Jesus, 
but NYE is the pinnacle of shimmery days.
It's actually frowned upon to NOT have glitter.

It's also a time of remixes, 
as we attempt to edit the last year into something better than what it actually was.
Hindsight & rose-colored glasses & whatnot.

So here's a playlist for NYE, including some fab remixes:

And always, always the DJ Earworm Remix:

Happy New Year!
Let's hope for fewer (or maybe better) life-altering decisions in 2014!

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Six Days of Meowmas

To get through the misery that is my (work) day, I set challenges for myself.
One day, I drank as much water as I possibly could.
Over 100 ounces and as many bathroom breaks, thank you very much.

This time, it was a weekly challenge that I didn't realize until Wednesday.
While putting together an outfit, 
I recalled what I had already worn:


(This is a homemade leopard infinity scarf, just FYI. Crafty.)

*Are we noticing a trend?
This is when the idea took shape.
Can a person wear leopard print to the office for an entire week?
More importantly, will anyone at the office notice?
Let's find out…


They're cuter in person. Promise. 

I made a bold move & wore this little number for a slow Saturday.

{Oh beautiful for leopard skies, 
for leopard waves of grain; 
for leopard mountain majesties
above the leopard plain!}

Day 24:
I showed up to work in my leopard snuggie. 
Still no one acknowledges. 
My meows for attention go unheeded. 
I'm growing worried that I can no longer survive without the leopard.
I found myself lapping milk from a dish during my lunch break.
What's a cat to do?
Please send help and/or catnip…

I'm still a person.
Obviously, if I were to turn into an animal, it would be a unicorn.
Plus, I hate cats.

In reality, either no one noticed the incredible amount of leopard
or they kept their awe to themselves.
Probs the latter. 

Just the family joking around for our annual Christmas card!
Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Me & Alex P. Keaton

I know by saying this, I'm jinxing it. 
But my history shows that, 
while I may be able to keep my thoughts from being vocalized,
I am not so great at stopping these little digits from 
diligently documenting my every idea.
I haven't been sick in a little while. 
And when I was sick, it was for a normal length of time. 
My ever-so-brief foray into teaching had me on my deathbed.
This time last year, I was the sickest of dogs
and no holiday cheer was to be found.
Having been raised by a doctor, 
I never go to one.
I can count on one hand and a half hands the number of times
I can recall going to the doctor.
(Obviously, going as a baby doesn't count
because babies need shots and are pansies.)

So this year, 
even though I despise my co-workers and I'm facilitating
the evil of work of the welfare state,
I am thankful that my place of work is not overrun
by grody guttersnipes.
I also love the fact that I can say, with 95% certainty,
(there's always room for error + people are disgusting) 
that I am not anywhere near someone else's bodily fluid, 
nor is it my job to clean it up.  

I've gotten past the easy, fill-in-your-information part of law school apps.
I now have to actually think and write and it sucks.
I don't have any dramatic story to use for my personal statement, 
and my resume is looking pretty sparse. 
I'm thinking about submitting the lyrics to this song as my personal statement.
Too bold?
(The band created this as a parody, but it's a decent summation of my actual beliefs.)

Because this post is so short & lame, 
here's two of my favorite things from this past week:
This was God's way of telling me there was a reason I haven't
been to WWofHP yet.
He's always got a plan.
It's supposed to open in summer of 2014, so happy birthday to meeeee.

And this:
Love me some pro-gun ladiez.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Bless me, Mother, for I have shopped.

What the what. 
I woke up to snow today.
Except it's really malicious ice masquerading as pleasantly soft snow.
But still
Work at the law firm was canceled, 
so I had one choice:
stay inside like a sane person or venture out onto the frozen tundra?
Obviously, there was adventure to be had.

Becca and I planned on DARTing to Mockingbird Station, 
but after we skidded & stomped all the way to the nearest DART stop, 
we realized the trains weren't going today. 
We were not happy campers. 
Like the stupid girls we are, we didn't let a silly thing like
black ice covering all the roads stop us from our shopping.
Becca drove.
We got there in one piece, 
but our bravery made us foolhardy and we then drove to NorthPark. 
Again, we're fine,
other than our ability to make rational decision. 

I might be nearing the end of my tenure at Anthro. 
It's taking such a toll on me, physically & budgetally, 
that I just need to stop. 
The thought of losing my discount frightened me, 
and I panic-shopped. 
Also, I had had some whiskey, so I was tipsy-shopping, as well.
The combination was both ruinous and fantastic.

I have a habit of calling my mom after I spend (what I think is) a lot of money.
I can be pretty cheap, but every now and again I go crazy.
Anthro brings out the crazy in me. 
Today, my mom said that she feels like my confessor. 
Except instead of giving me penance, my mother only gives absolution. 
She's a terrible influence.

Hopefully, with the end of Anthro comes a return to my frugal ways. 
I kind of don't have any other option.
Pray for my soul/bank account?

I've already made plans to pull my life together tomorrow, if work is canceled. 
If it's not canceled, then I guess I have an excuse for my life still being a mess?
The title of this blog post is sacrilegious. 
I apologize. 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Airport Etiquette

I spent an inordinate amount of time in the airport this past week, 
considering I was only home for two days. 
I figured the airport would be a madhouse on Wednesday afternoon, 
so I got to the airport a million hours early, 
only to get through security in literally 5 minutes.
Good ole Love Field. 
And I was dropped at the airport in San Antonio
a bit too early because my parents were on their way to a party. 
As such, I now consider myself an expert on airports. 
Ask me anything.
I could probably do a better job than any TSA agent, 
but that's to be expected, 
considering I have a halfway functioning brain and a smidgen of common sense. 

My hours in the airport were rampant with eavesdropping material. 
A few things you should never discuss in a public place:

-how the doctor removed your cyst

-the family problems you will encounter over Thanksgiving
(especially when talking to a stranger)

-anything said when sitting by yourself in the airport bar

I find it aesthetically offensive when people dress for flying
as if they are about to be put into a coma. 
Sure, the seats aren't super comfortable
but you're not sitting on a hardwood bench for days.
And if you were, those flannel monstrosities aren't going to help much. 
Neither are your skintight yoga pants.
Man up and wear some real clothing.
Ignore the "Peace Corps Volunteer" part. Just get out. 
Think about flying 50 years ago. 
People dressed.
As technology has increased, humanity's ability to wear non-elastic clothing
while in the air seems to have decreased. 
Being poorly dressed isn't a thing, so stop trying to make it a thing.

This post is going to have to end early. 
I just worked all weekend at Anthro. 
I was excited to work after Thanksgiving
because I could finally embrace all the holiday loveliness. 
But after a few days of the same remixed Christmas music on repeat, 
I feel like the holidays just curb-stomped me. 
I came home to a VERY large glass of wine tonight. 

I have another full week at the law firm
& then another weekend at Anthro. 
My next day off is not anywhere on the horizon. 
And now my eye is twitching.